Ventilation: Secure Insecurities....

You know you're a pro at hiding your feelings when your mother is sitting directly in front of you approx 30" and your crying your eyes out choking on yer food and she doesn't even notice....well its either u a pro or mommy just dont care bout you boo boo...

am a pro tho!

ive become so badass at hiding my feelings tht nw i have to FORCE myself to cry just to lower my blood pressure [tht shit Cray!]

Anyway, ma mom and I went shopping today and she decided to bring along one of her friends...no let me make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR....

I>>>AM>>>NOT>>>>INSECURE>>>>ABOUT>>>MY>>>WEIGHT

Fuck That Shit!

Let me me list the people who are: My Mom, My Dad, My Mom's Billions of Friends, My Family and My Community. In essence I am Happy with who i am...i might b over weight but am happy and for these people its just not enough [SMH]

I try to be the perfect daughter; good grades, polite, a winning personality but its not enough because am not skinny...pschk! anyway, i digress...

We were shopping and of course am going to have problems finding clothes and whatnot but once i try on sumthing i hear my mom whispering to her friend about how am shaped in my dress [UGH] or i hear her friend make some remark about how i need to "shake off" some weight she even suggested i get a girdle! [WTF]

Now listen, where am from when your parent's friend insults you....your parents dont stick up for you they back up their friend and tag-team their own off-spring....

When i was in high school i lost alot of weight and ended up very skinny and once i left high school i just gained it all back and thats what's killing my parents the fact tht i can b skinny, was skinny but nw am over-weight and they cant stand the sight of me....my mom even referred to the times wen i was younger nd she had to go thru so much hell to find clothes for me tht it just pains her heart tht she has to go thru it agn...FUCK YOU!!!

I'd honestly love to say am sorry am such a terror to look at but am not sorry...ill show my parents tru beauty and they'll love it.

So am not the type of person to repeatedly piss off because i am the epitome of a ticking time bomb hence i will store all my aggression so wen i unleash my wrath it will b a lesson well learnt by victims of my explosion.