So i was with my BF who I was totally in love with...head ova heels for so much so tht i created this blog site for him as a way for him to promote his writing. We had our ups nd downs like any other couple wud have and for the first time i was tempted to cheat, but being the girl i am...i never did
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| Guys suffer frm Broken Hearts too |
Anywhooo, long story short i broke up with him only to learn tht he cheated on me. I didnt take it too bad cuz we had broken up but in all honesty it still hurts even to this day nd we broke up 4mths ago...anyway he moved on enuff to screw some new girls....girls i knew...they werent ma frenz bt i knew them well enuff it b shocked abt it. Ma sadness didnt last long tho i found my Rugby dude who is doing good at making me happy even tho in tha beginning i TOTALLY...SERIOUSLY misjudged him (nevr judge a book by its cover...or tha first few pages). He strted out like....well i strted out thinking tht he was one of those muscular sexy guys tht get every girl they want nd every girl is jus a new accomplishment fer them...wen in actuality he isnt like tht, he's jus a guy thts been battered nd bruised alot and wen uve been hurt repeatedly u cant help but be guarded...some way or the other u find a way to protect yerself and with some guys they jus turn out to b jerks to girls, its only human.
See my misconception abt this guy stemmed frm me jus being broken and judgmental...i"ve been hurt before like many females nd i didnt deal wit it too well in other words i burnt maself with matches 18 times (3 columns, 6 scars in each column)...in retrospect I WAS STUPID AND PATHETIC...NO GUY DESERVES THA RIGHT TO SAY "i caused her to scar or cut herself" NO MOTHERFUCKING GUY!!!!
But at the time wen i was so furious, so heartbroken...at tht time my world shattered and my heart absent sound burning myself over and over agn toke tha pain away frm my chest and focused it elsewhere...which was exactly wat i needed....at the time. Notice i keep sayin at the time, this is because the relief was only temporary, the scarz are forever but i styl had this aching sharp shooting pain in my chest and it wasnt ma asthma.
I got over it eventually...it took a long time tho but am ova it
TTYL~~~~~ ill update u lata
This is the unofficial update to the 'Back Story'....I really dont remember wat i wrote up top there^^ and am not one to re-read work tht ive written cuz i might change it and take away from the authenticity of the post so here is the summary (hence why its called unofficial).
I was in love with my ex (well i still am) but our relationship took a turn for the worse and i became completely consumed with rage....however i had no place to release rising steam so i figured i created this blog for him nd he refuses to use it so ill make use of it.....thus the birth of Ventilation......and ever since then ive been blogging my feelings instead of bottling them. Mind you, the point was to write it but expect no one to read it and tht is still my expectation....even though i might get a few views and a few comments i still picture this as writing in my diary lol....so yep! :)
