Improvements

NOT a romantic blog!

Now that ive gotten tht out of the way...apparently am sick. And i dnt mean jus fat, i mean sumn's wrong with my insides...ma left ovary to b exact - "Polycystic Ovary" and this is me self diagnosing stylz. Anywhoo ive done tha ultrasound nd they found no cysts however tht stylz does not rule out my diagnosis :D


In any case, a close frend of mine has taken it upon himself to help out a 'damsel in distress'. So i change my diet - trying to eat more healthy like YUCK! 


and nw he gone make me exercise YAY (being sarcastic 
ppl -sigh- its hard to convey tone on this thing -_-)

To be honest tho am excited abt tha exercise i think it will b great fah me nd lord knws i need it so i guess amo jus try to put ma all out and jus take it like a woman! So we strt @ 4:15am tmrw for 3 days a week and we'll see how it goes!


GETTING HEALTHY NIGGAH!!!


ps: mayb this will help me stay longer on top...lord knws i do like being on top but fat girls get tired too quick (its embarrassing!! plus am asthmatic which cuts it down even shorter -tsk tsk- well we gona change tht *wink*)

You Heard Me! :D

Randoms

I have sooooo much work to do tht ive decided not to do anything cuz ye am lazy like tht...

Am kinda bummed right now, i had a group presentation and it didnt go as planned...tha lecturers like the presentation but they asked a few questions afterwards and they kinda left us rattled i tried ma best to answer but i just felt like it wasnt enuff....well wateva!

Now am extremely horny and stuff cuz ive been running dry FER A LONG WHILE but its for tha best work comes first i guess....sigh so horny tho ugh!

anywhooo abt today...apparently STBB was playing with his frenz today nd it ended up in a 'play fight' -kmt- it didnt look like playing to me nd they so muscular the throws were super massive nd they ended up on the floor battling it out -tsk tsk- 

i cuddnt watch tho it scared tha umpa lumpa outta me seeing him hitting his frend repeatedly like tht with so much power ...can u jus imagine if he wasnt playing -sigh- i dnt even wana imagine....but yet still it was a turn on :) 

ye am weird abt these things but wateva...i guess tht was just tha hormones :D

Anyway the point of this blog is...-sigh- there is no point am too lazy to make one. 

My point Exactly

Spoken For...

"Got the hottest chick in the game wearing my chain"

So apparently ive been branded...but i like it!


Its tha friday after Valentine's day and and me and tha STBB (soon-to-be-bf) were playing well he was holding ma hand and hitting me in ma palm with a wooden ruler...i allowed him to do it cuz i had a hickey tht wasnt frm him nd he didnt knw so i guess it was my way of punishing maself...the hickey is a whole different story....long and short ma ex came over cuz he was lonely we ended up fooling around nd then tha hickey happen...NOTHING ELSE THO!!!! 

Its possibru

Anywhoooooo while he was hitting me he stopped suddenly and then sed he had sumthing to give me and out of nowhere he gave me this bracelet with his name on it with rasta colours and all...


OMG i was completely overwhelmed and he did it infront of ppl! i want to jump his ass and give him the literal kiss of life....LITERALLY!!! Dear Lord there were and still are no words to describe how i felt...tha dude blew my motherfucking mind with this lil thing...i swear i think i jizzed a lil


-sigh- if he keeps this up we might actually strt a real relationship

Types of Relationships

" In a strong relationship, you should love your companion more than you need them." Steve Maraboli quotes

I have come to realize tht guys can like a girl want her to commit to him aka initial stages of a relationship but its NOT REALLY a relationship. Well its not wat i think a relationship is.
As in he wants all the exclusive shit but it excludes love and any real serious feelings and idk if its jus me being a typical female or me just being traditional but any relationship without REAL UNDYING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is an empty relationship nd id pefer to b single.


In any case i guess its kinda tha holy grail of relationships for guys cuz u get all the gud stuff without all the drama cuz we knw love tends to complicate things and makes everything difficult to deal with. Well it seems ive found maself in an empty relationship but ironcically iam completely ok with it :D idk y....no i knw why....cuz it makes it ezier wen its time to break up and shit cuz its a knwn fact tht ntn lasts forever so it will make life less difficult wen its time fer me to split


and lets b honest i still love ma ex actually am in love with him...yes the asshole who i sed was no longer an asshole but unfortunately fer him he annoyed me tonight so he's back to being an asshole -_-  I cant nt love tha guy...he's everything i wanted in a man in regards to the way he treated me but the things tht ticked me off about him were just little things like him saying "clam down" or "chill out" wen i am calm but am jus annoyed (which happens very often with him). Even so our relationship is was wat i thought of wen i wanted to define a relationship but tht is a thing of the past (tht i secretly foretell will become a thing of the future...srry rugby dude)


In essence relationships vary, but i will say this if rugby dude strts treating me all romatic and sweet or strts being all lovey dovey then this might be one of those exceptions to tha rule 'nothing lasts forever'

New Piercing inuh!!!

sooooooooo i got a new piercing yesterday... its a rook piercing!!!!! am so excited abt it, am in love with it

so the idea of the piercing came frm the idea tht it wud hurt like hell cuz of the amount of cartilage needed to be pierced nd i dedicate the piercing to ma dad...SUMMER 2011 - i will never forget it-

anywhooo i went to ma frenz house to get tha piercing nd we called this lady there to make a house call and she did me first outa tha three of us! thank god cuz after ma frend get her industrial i wudda change ma mind. lol but i love ma piercing i just hope it isnt ugly nd disgutsing like the ones ive seen with tha bump nd stuff... it didnt even hurt tht much....as in the lady used a numbing spray but i styl felt it nd it didnt hurt tht much...i mean ive had cramps tht hurt worse than this piecing...the only time it really hurt was after worders nd it only hurt fer a few seconds and then it stops like am having contractions on ma rook...bt as i sed nothing to cry abt

but then agn i am doing this piercing out of sheer anger, regret, disappointment....in other words am pissed AF so the pain was welcomed with open armz

inuff of tht here is a pic of ma rook :D

Forever Alone

Am surrounded by so many frenz yet still i feel/felt so alone today.

While my classmates were out enjoying themselves i was in class nerding away and it felt so sad nd depressing and not even my "soon to be bf" was there wit me...he was having tha time of his life. He checked on me once for less than 20secs before he went bak to his fun...which made me even more depressed.

 i am a girl who loves and feeds of the attention of some1 i may potentially love...when am hard at werk thts usually the time i wana be disturbed by them and be hugged and teased and played with till i lauff nd tha tension frm my massive work load has decreased significantly then they can go bak to wateva it is they were doing...and trust me it only takes FIVE MINUTES to achieve such a goal...FIVE MINUTES out of his gym time, FIVE MINUTES out of his rugby time, FIVE MINUTES out of his frenz/red alert time...FIVE MINUTES

Maybe am asking too much too soon but in actuality he was ready to skull school to get his me time...if u knw wat i mean.  

And wen he does realize tht in fact i am not myself...he realizes this wen my frenz have left me and i am nw alone (physically) so he can show he cares...and he asks wat wrong and i of say "nothing, am fine" and he knws am lying but he accepts it anyway! At tht point its obvious werds will do ntn for me so all i need is a hug...a simple yet widely overlooked gesture....a sily hug and i wud have been fixed immediately like tht moment wen house figures out his diagnosis....i'd have been cured!

but it takes a strong man to walk away frm his frenz out of his comfort zone and into to mine jus to see if am 'ok'

-Sigh- i even resorted to pinging my bestie who am trying to get bak on gud terms with fer a supplementary hug...he was busy. Then i went into desperation and txted my ex-bf the so called 'asshole' frm my previous posts (he is no longer an asshole btw)he was also to busy to hear my cry...and like every sad episode in my life it rained...a pathetic fallacy tht has yet to leave me...once am sad it rains bt not every time it rains am sad.

With tht said i have come to the realization tht i will b 

ps i left tha mistakes in...i think it adds to my loneliness and depressing state