Ventilation: Forever Alone

Am surrounded by so many frenz yet still i feel/felt so alone today.

While my classmates were out enjoying themselves i was in class nerding away and it felt so sad nd depressing and not even my "soon to be bf" was there wit me...he was having tha time of his life. He checked on me once for less than 20secs before he went bak to his fun...which made me even more depressed.

i am a girl who loves and feeds of the attention of some1 i may potentially love...when am hard at werk thts usually the time i wana be disturbed by them and be hugged and teased and played with till i lauff nd tha tension frm my massive work load has decreased significantly then they can go bak to wateva it is they were doing...and trust me it only takes FIVE MINUTES to achieve such a goal...FIVE MINUTES out of his gym time, FIVE MINUTES out of his rugby time, FIVE MINUTES out of his frenz/red alert time...FIVE MINUTES

Maybe am asking too much too soon but in actuality he was ready to skull school to get his me time...if u knw wat i mean.

And wen he does realize tht in fact i am not myself...he realizes this wen my frenz have left me and i am nw alone (physically) so he can show he cares...and he asks wat wrong and i of say "nothing, am fine" and he knws am lying but he accepts it anyway! At tht point its obvious werds will do ntn for me so all i need is a hug...a simple yet widely overlooked gesture....a sily hug and i wud have been fixed immediately like tht moment wen house figures out his diagnosis....i'd have been cured!

but it takes a strong man to walk away frm his frenz out of his comfort zone and into to mine jus to see if am 'ok'

-Sigh- i even resorted to pinging my bestie who am trying to get bak on gud terms with fer a supplementary hug...he was busy. Then i went into desperation and txted my ex-bf the so called 'asshole' frm my previous posts (he is no longer an asshole btw)he was also to busy to hear my cry...and like every sad episode in my life it rained...a pathetic fallacy tht has yet to leave me...once am sad it rains bt not every time it rains am sad.

With tht said i have come to the realization tht i will b